Great Sex for the Monogamous Couple

No matter what you see, hear, or feel about your relationship, if you are in love and want to stay together for the long haul – SEX is important.

And to have great sex, you need to be open with each other.

So, let’s talk about sex baby!

But first, let’s all get on the same page about sex and why it’s so essential for the monogamous couple.

Why sex is important for your relationship

Sex is a gift from the heavens. When you’re doing it right, it feels wonderful. It bathes your insides in good chemicals into your body that make you look and feel younger. Sexual fluids have energy giving properties too! Plus, mindful sex is a fast-track gateway to personal growth and awakening.

We all benefit from the release, the contact, to be touched, held and appreciated. Our bodies have been divinely designed to mate. Frequently. Often.

Intercourse and all preludes (and post-ludes, a word I just made up) are ways to give and receive love. It’s how we can expand and explore boundaries, shadows, dreams and fantasies in a safe, intimate space. From the primal to the sublime, there is poetry in sex when you look for it.

How to open up about sex

If you are a couple in a sexual rut, it’s probably time to open up with each other by talking about it. 

Actually, even if you’re still running hot between the sheets, you’ll get a kick out of talking about sex too – it’s quite a turn on.

To get the ball rolling, I love suggesting the ‘Sex Interview’ for couples. 

Here’s how the interview works.

1. You each have a series of questions to ask your partner about sex (see the next section).
2. Take turns being the objective reporter and interview each other about sex. Take notes and everything. 
3. Once you’ve interviewed each other, have a debrief discussion.
4. During the whole process, be open minded and non-judging. When you both feel safe you can be vulnerable and fully express your true desires. When you can do this with each other your sex life has massive potential for expansion.

Sex interview questions for couples

Here are some questions I like to ask, but feel free to make changes and add in your own. Play, get curious, and have fun!

• What turns you on? This can be anything (touch, food, sounds, toys, texture, visuals, positions, ambience, etc. etc.)
• What would you love to experience sexually?
• What are your no-go zones sexually?
• What can I do for you that would make you go crazy with desire for me?
• How do you want to feel when we are sexually intimate?
• What would you like me to feel when we are sexually intimate?

Debrief guidelines

It’s highly likely, if you’ve both been open and honest with each other in the interview stage, that you will both have learned some helpful things about your desires AND about your partner’s.

Take a moment to reflect with a debrief session. Make sure you both capture the little gems and insights you’ve gathered from your discovery process.

Here are some reflection questions to get you started:

• What did you learn about yourself through the interview?
• What did you learn about your partner?
• What are you most excited to try out the next time you are intimate together?
• What did you love about the interview process?

Go you!

In Western society today, we are still not talking enough about our sexual needs and desires. So, if you’ve made it through the Sex Interview for Couples, you’re further along than the average couple. Go YOU! 

If the Sex interview for couples has inspired you but you feel like you need some help moving your sex life forward, I’d love to help. I am a Sex Coach who works with men or women individually, but I also work with couples as a team. Here are some links to learn more: For Him, For Her.